I was all ready to write a rant about my life. It seemed appropriate since the title of this site starts with the words, “So Mad…” However, as I began writing about how bad I think I have it, it occurred to me that everyone is dealing with his or her own types of bad stuff.

I then read that Nov. 13-20 is World Kindness Week.  It got me thinking about kindness, so I watched this fun video:

So, I decided to write my top 10 Dos that could help make this world a better place and maybe help us all to get along. Perfect timing and none of this is political, I promise.

1.     Do slow down. This is in general day-to-day life and also while driving. If you see someone walking, especially with a child, slow down and let them go first.

2.     Do hold the door open for people—all people. When I was pregnant, I was treated as if I were a princess by many strangers. But once my kids were on the outside of me, I was treated as if I were a menace. Pretend everyone is pregnant (smile).

3.     Do smile at people. Look them in the eye too. If nothing else, it will make them wonder what you are up to.

4.     Do be nice to all people in the service industry including restaurant servers, grocery workers and bus drivers. Chances are, they are working very hard at a very low hourly rate.  And they are probably dealing with a lot of other things, besides your immediate want or need.

5.     Do teach your kids that the most important trait is to be kind and generous. It’s more important to be kind and generous than it is to be smart, funny, rich or famous.

6.     Do give people a break. We all deserve it. I remember a few years ago I was running a few minutes late to a client meeting. I called ahead to let him know. The client said, “Take your time and be safe. Don’t rush. We’ll be here.” He didn’t pull a power card. I have always used his line ever since if someone is running late to see me. Really, what difference does it make?

7.     Do send nice e-mails. Never use all capital letters and exclamation points if you are upset.  Don’t “demand” or “require.”  Quench that fire if someone else has sent you a snippy e-mail. Use words like: Please, Thank you, I understand, I will try, I’m sorry, I misunderstood. Pretend your mother will read your e-mail and see if you still want to send it.

8.     Do have empathy. People need it all the time. And they don’t need help finding the bright side of a bad situation.  After my mother died, I had a peer write in a card to me, “At least you still have your boyfriend.” If you don’t know what to say, just say you are sorry for what they are going through. That always works. 

9.     Do say hello to someone (especially a child) with special needs or a medical condition. Look them in the eye. Ask his/her name and what they like to do. Even if they are nonverbal, they and their parents will appreciate you treating them like any other person.

10.    Do have faith that we can make this world a better place. This is not a dress rehearsal. We only get one shot at life, and apathy or cynicism will only waste our time here. So I’m going to try harder to make it better and I hope you will too.

I’m sure I’m missing some really great Do’s. Feel free to send them to me, so that I can add them to my life list. 

Here is to life and my attempt to leave the world better than I found it. To my beautiful children, kind and strong in unique ways. To my generous husband who always puts us first. To my wonderful, thoughtful and giving friends and family who have made me feel loved more than I ever thought possible. Thank you. 

My poem:

Kindness 

  An art 

 That is taught 

  From one to another 

  Humankind

I am not skilled at putting together cute clothes. If you've ever seen me with a cute outfit, the odds are that 1) Chris put it together or 2) I bought the whole outfit off the rack and took a picture of how to put it back together. 

In fact, when forced to put together my own outfits, I have the most success doing this:
 1) Find one thing I actually want to wear
 2) Try to find something that I would NEVER put together with it
 3) Find shoes/heels to match

For the most part this does in fact work and usually gets me the most compliments. 

One of the major benefits of going through all this cancer/surgery stuff is that it has been acceptable to wear sweat suits 24/7. My first one was a gift from my sister's mother in law. (Thanks Cathy!) And I love it. It is an actual breast cancer/survivor jogging suit. 

It is soft. It has elastic. It is pink. It sparkles. It comes as a matched set. And it has pockets on the inside. This is actually really important because after surgery, this is a convenient place to put the drain tubes and bulbs. They are safe and out of sight. Tip for breast surgery patients: you'll need a few zip up sweatshirts. And if the pockets are only on the outside, wear the jacket inside out. Also my friend, Tiffini suggested a front-zip sports bra which is also very handy the first few days post-surgery. My plastic surgeon was impressed that I had one with me at the hospital and even asked where I bought it.

Back to the sweatsuits. A few nights before my surgery, I tried on the pink one. Chris and my sister noted with a laugh that this could be a problem. There needed to be an end-date to wearing these. Otherwise, I might never wear anything else. I knew I would need motivation.

And motivation came in the form of my wonderful sister-in-law, Brenda. She stayed with us 2 1/2 weeks after my surgery. She asked what she could do to help and I told her that I really needed help with my wardrobe and closet. A few days later, I tried on every single thing I had. We got rid of anything that didn't fit, was worn out or outdated. She paired up tops and skirts. She found belts and shoes to match. It was amazing. We got rid of 3 large garbage bags. And I felt like I actually had more clothes. A few favorite Brenda-isms:

• "Those pants zip up in the front? Take them off. Never wear pants that zip up in the front."
• "You need to wear the scarf. The scarf doesn't wear you."
• "If you are chesty, v-necks and scoop necks are your friend."
  

If you are good at doing this—offer to help a friend. Especially after any kind of surgery that changes a woman's perception of herself. I felt amazing and ready to go back to work. Thank you Brenda!

We leave Tuesday for Johns Hopkins in Baltimore, for Jude's appointment with Dr. Paul Lipkin. He sounds amazing - check out his bio here: https://www.kennedykrieger.org/patient-care/faculty-staff/paul-lipkin He was hand picked for us by a wonderful pediatrician in Omaha. 

And with that I'm so grateful for the following:
1) That my best sweatsuit will be perfect for the plane (sorry Brenda)
2) That we have maxed our family deductible for the year so this shouldn't be costly (emphasis on shouldn't)
3) That our appointment was not in the middle storm Sandy 
4) That we voted early since we will be traveling on election day
5) That we have great friends and family helping us with Lucy while we are gone

My poem:

Clothes
Cluttered, messy
A fresh perspective
Two hours, two women
Style