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Lucky

10/23/2012

6 Comments

 
I've always been lucky. 

I remember being about 9 or 10 years old at Hy-Vee with my mom. She let me pick out whatever cereal I wanted. My mom was cool like that, she let me eat sugar cereal. I picked Golden Grahams. I noticed on the front of the box it said 1 in 20 boxes had a real wristwatch inside. A real, plastic, black, ugly wristwatch. I needed that watch. 

My mom was so awesome that she actually let me shake every box of Golden Grahams that was on the shelf. (Now really, she was probably long gone in another part of the store and could care less, but I like to remember her being very cool about it.) I was convinced that I could feel the weight difference of the boxes and find that watch. I selected the box very carefully and we went home. My mom let me poor the whole box of cereal out into a giant white bowl. And guess what? I won. I found the special box with the watch. Which I probably kept for about a day and then promptly lost it. 

Fast forward to this summer when we took my 6-year-old daughter, Lucy to see Iowa Public Television's star, Dan Wardell. He asked the audience to raise their hands to tell him what they would buy if they won the lottery. I watched Lucy. Her hand was high. Her bottom was barely able to stay in her seat. I could see it in her eyes. She knew he'd call her name. Well, he didn't.  She cried. That's life. [Side note: Dan Wardell is the best! We love you, Dan. Be orange!]

For the record, Chris doesn't think like me. He thinks he will probably not win. Ever. We discuss which is a better way to live. 1) Thinking you are lucky, and sometimes being disappointed or 2) Thinking you are not lucky, and sometimes being happily surprised. And maybe the answer is that it's good to have both perspectives in a family.

So, I called my oncologist late last week to find out the results from pathology. When they removed 95% of my breast tissue and two lymph nodes, they sent it all the lab to be checked for cancer. Good news. They found a 3 cm mass of cancer that they removed from my left breast. They got really good margins. No other cancer was found, including my lymph nodes. It had not spread. No need for radiation. No need for chemo. I was lucky. 

No one wants to have cancer at all. But, somehow I still feel like the luckiest person alive. I'm so lucky to live in a time when we can catch cancer at stage 0. There is a time not long ago when any cancer diagnosis was almost certain death. My mom's cancer killed her in a year-and-a-half. I hopefully get to have a different story. And I hope I can help others with my story. Be your own advocate. If you are at high risk, get screened, even when it's not convenient or comfortable. 

I learned recently that Lucy has been telling everyone that I had back surgery. I picked her up from the bus stop yesterday. The bus driver yelled, "How are you doing? Lucy told me you had back surgery." I smiled and said I was doing well. I asked Lucy why she was telling people that I had back surgery. She said, "Well, it's easier than telling them about the front."  We'll, I'll give you that, Lucy. I love that she makes me laugh. And so does Chris and Jude.

Which brings me to yet another comedian I must share with you. Her name is Tig Notaro.  A summary from Popwatch.com: In August, Tig Notaro got up on stage in Los Angeles and did 30 minutes of stand-up that was instantly elevated to legendary status for two reasons. The first was because of the context, as Notaro delivered the show shortly after getting diagnosed with breast cancer (which followed pneumonia, a debilitating intestinal infection, the death of her mother, and a bad break-up). The second was because Louis C.K., who was also on the bill that evening, tweeted the following: “In 27 years doing this, I’ve seen a handful of truly great, masterful standup sets. One was Tig Notaro last night at Largo.”

You can hear a 2-minute segment of the set here (warning, it does have some swear words and adult content), but her message is worth it.
And you can download the 30-minute show for $5, Tig keeps $4. Think about sending it to someone you know affected by breast cancer. I promise it will make them smile. https://buy.louisck.net/purchase/tig-notaro-live

My poem for the week: 

Lucky 
Number 7 
Not in Vegas 
But when it counts 
Fortuitous
6 Comments

The Eternal Optimist

10/17/2012

4 Comments

 
There is a small downside to being an eternal optimist. When you are wrong.

A week ago today I was just recovering from major surgery. I was convinced it wouldn’t be that bad. I had previously had a cesarean section surgery, and I had told myself this would be a lot like that surgery. I envisioned myself waking up, walking the halls within hours and feeling pretty good.

I woke up telling my recovery nurse that I had been sending lots of e-mails. They were very specific, important e-mails. I even looked for my phone in bed, hoping I actually didn’t send any, because God knew what I would have written in my drug-induced state. (smile)

I also woke up in pain. More than I’d thought. And it got worse. After a few hours, I tried to walk down the hall. I felt my face go instantly go pale. I felt myself sweat. I felt the need to sit down quickly. Thank God Chris was by my side and has been ever since. I’ve never been so vulnerable. But being vulnerable allowed me to feel something else—profound love and gratitude.  More on that in a bit.

Then, I did check my e-mail on my phone (as my boss said, luckily it weighs less than my five pound limit). And one e-mail in particular was a big surprise:

Dear Sarah,

All of us at Huffpost Women are wishing you luck and sending positive thoughts to you on your surgery today!

We'd love to syndicate the piece you sent us on The Huffington Post. When you can, please let us know if we may we use the attached photo from your blog as your headshot. Love the haircut!

Warmly,

Jessica


Then another e-mail:

Hi Sarah,

I spoke with your colleague, Shannon, and she said you wouldn't mind if we used the photo of you from your site to accompany your piece. We wanted to get this up today so readers can send you well wishes while you are in surgery. Here's the published link: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/sarah-albertsoncorkery/breast-cancer-awareness_b_1954601.html

Picture
If you'd ever like to submit another piece to The Huffington Post (or syndicate items from your personal blog on HP), please feel free to use the username and password below.

Warmly,

Jessica


HOLY CRAP! Huffingtonpost.com is one of Chris and my favorite websites. If you are not familiar with it, The Huffington Post is an American news website, content aggregator and blog. 

I was an official contributor to Huffington Post! I forgot that I had submitted it a week early when the site had asked for articles relating to breast cancer. I grinned from ear to ear. And so did Chris. And I don’t think it was just the amazing pain medication that was starting to kick in.

So, my surgery was on Wednesday. I was supposed to go home on Thursday. I ended up spiking a fever and needing a blood transfusion. I also was “graced” with a not-so-pleasant hospital roommate and her extremely loud family. I finally came home on Saturday. Lesson learned again: I am not always in charge of the plan.

On Friday afternoon Chris said, “I think the old Sarah is back. You seem to be feeling better,” which translates to “There is my opinionated wife that I love so much.”

I have read and appreciated every single e-mail, Facebook post/message, card, thought and prayer. Thank you for the play dates for my kids. Thank you also for all the meals. We are eating like champs. Like an Oscar speech, there are so many people to thank, that I don’t think I can ever thank you individually (although I promise to try with personal notes at some point, I hope the same rule applies and I have a year to get them out.)

But I really need to thank a few people personally:
  • My sister. Stephanie Pershing, you are amazing. She secretly told Chris this surgery would really suck and he would need to stay with me at the hospital for a few days. She was right. She also ran my home like a tight ship while I was gone. She made sure my kids were safe and had extra fun. She even cleaned and rearranged the toy room.
  • My dad. He arrived on Saturday from New Mexico and has done everything we have needed: laundry, driving the kids around (I now know where I got my driving skills), and pouring milk for the morning cereal. Who knew that a gallon of milk weighs eight pounds? He suggests we start buying the one-half gallon size next week.
  • My kind and generous friend, Sarah. Thank you for organizing all the meals, rides to Iowa City and play dates. It has been so incredibley helpful.
  • To the people who sat with Chris in the waiting room for almost 7 hours during my surgery—Judy, Marcia, Amanda and Curtis. I can never say thank you enough. It was such a peace of mind for me to know he was not sitting alone in a room full of strangers.
  • To my cancer survivor and wonderful friend, Tiffini. Thank you for giving me the head’s up on everything to expect. Thank you for helping me make informed decisions. Thank you for checking in on me every single day as my needs keep changing. 
  • And to my amazing husband, Chris. My profound love and gratitude. I have never loved you more. I sincerely hope Obama wins because you deserve it this year after all you’ve been though. 

And so a cinquain:

Pain 

Pressure, sharp 

Asking for help 

Staying ahead of it
Relief 

4 Comments

Short and Sweet

10/9/2012

17 Comments

 
I'm going to keep this update short and sweet - like my new haircut :)

First, a shout out to my girls who are wearing pink hair extentions in my honor. Ladies, you are great friends.
Picture

I've realized I haven't had a major hair change in years. Years is a long time for someone who used to change her hair at least once every other month.

I've had black hair, red hair, short hair, long hair, a faux-hawk, a Jessica Simpson wig extension and more. What I realized is that once Jude started having health problems, I suddenly stopped changing my hair. I had enough going on and needed some things to stay the same.

Jude gets hair cuts rarely. Like a lot of little boys, he hates them. We usually only get his hair cut prior to family photos or EEGs.

If you aren't familiar with an EEG, the technician glues 24 "leads" onto his head and the glue is very hard to get out. Jude got a haircut and an EEG last week. He was very brave. We don't have his results, but we are hoping his EEG was stable and we can try to wean him off his seizure medicine this Winter. His neurologist said from the beginning that every kid deserves a chance to be both seizure free and med free.
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We are back in Iowa City tonight. We report for my surgery at 5:30 am. It should start around 7:00 and be about 6 hours. Chris is going use my Facebook page for any updates throughout the day.

I'm glad for a lot of reasons to have short hair:
1) It will be easy to maintain since I can't shower for several weeks. I have promised Chris I will bathe though :)

2) I am lucky. I get to keep my hair. This surgery means no radiation or chemo. Hopefully ever.

3) After I got this cut, Lucy said, "You look like Justin Beiber!"
Picture
 You be the judge.

My cinquain poem of the day:


Thankful 
Family, Friends 
Receiving so much 
Humbled to feel loved 
You
17 Comments

Everything is Amazing & Nobody is Happy

10/1/2012

6 Comments

 
One of my favorite comedians is Louis CK. If you say his name fast out loud it sounds like Lucy K, which I also like. If you have four minutes, this is worth a watch. 
Whenever my internet is temporarily down, I think of Louie. "Give it a minute. It's going to space!" Well, maybe not space, but a lot of stuff is going on that I don't even see. And I know I don't appreciate everything enough.

Which brings me to Facebook. Oh how I love/hate you Facebook. I love that 94 people "liked" my new haircut.  (Thanks if you were one of them!) But I also think I fall into this trap:
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No one wants to see the icky stuff in life. That's why we all post beautiful, happy photos. And we all know deep down that that is not reality. What I also DISLIKE about Facebook is that it can push good friends apart. I get lazy and I comment on a photo instead of picking up the phone. I "accept" an invite to an event, and then I don't go. Suddenly, real friends turn into Facebook friends. 

What I LIKE about Facebook is how it can pull together almost strangers and fight for a cause. A group of us tried very hard to keep the Price Lab School open. The big realization in my life right now is very simple: Life is not fair. As my mom used to say, "Who said life was fair?" I didn't listen then but I'm trying to listen now. 

However, I thought if we worked really hard, and our cause was just, we had a chance to make a real difference. But that is not always the case. I feel the same about Jude. We can do all the therapies and go to all the doctors visits possible, but in the end, Jude will be who Jude will be. Sometimes I want to give up, and sometimes I want to push through knowing we did the best we could regardless of the outcome. 

(Oh, and that image above reminds me, did I mention that I was Hudson High School's Homecoming Queen of 1994? I'm really surprised that it took me four whole blog posts before I mentioned that about myself :)

So, T-minus 10 days to surgery. T-minus five days until my husband takes me to see Louis CK live in Minneapolis. I cannot wait! I'll share a quote I stole from someone's page on Facebook, "I love people who make me laugh. I honestly think it's the thing I like most, to laugh. It cures a multitude of ills. It's probably the most important thing in a person." --Audrey Hepburn. 

So I will choose to laugh. And choose to be happy. Because, after all, everything is amazing.  
My cinquain poem of the day:

Laughter 
Loud, often 
Making others smile 
Lifting up my spirit 
Friends
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    Sarah Corkery is a mother of three, wife, friend and marketer. 

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