A few months ago, we got to attend a show written and directed by our talented brother-in-law Jimmy DeVita.  It was called “The Gift of the Magi.” He took a two-page story written by O. Henry about a young married couple and how they deal with a challenge of buying secret Christmas gifts for each other with very little money, and he adapted it into a two-hour musical. 

The climax of the show is when the husband is really depressed, realizing he may not afford to get his wife a Christmas gift. A fiddler cheers him up and sings a heartfelt song with the lyrics “There, but for the grace of God, go I.” Jimmy explained it later that it was a complicated scene to write. They didn’t want to imply that God was getting in the way of him buying his wife a gift. But rather, he could just as easily be in a worse situation. 

The phrase was originally credited to a preacher, John Bradford, who uttered the words when seeing criminals being led to their death. But the source has never been confirmed. 

I was taken aback by the use of this phrase in the show. I heard it a few years ago in a speech, and it just stuck with me—It could always be worse, and it can happen to anyone. To me, it's a reminder to be grateful for what you have in life because it can change in a blink of an eye. 

A few days later, we invited Chris’ parents over to our house. Chris was playing a game of Cribbage with his dad. Laurie won several games in a row. And then he said, “But it all could have gone another way. It’s how the cards are cut. One cut differently and Chris would have won.” I love Laurie's humble approach. Because it means the opposite of my quote is also true. When things go well, it's not always because we are the better players in life. Sometimes it just happens. 

There, but for the grace of God, go I.

Grace
Given, Priceless
Learning its Beauty
We all Deserve it
Peace

Chris and I got to see the “Life of Pi” movie in 3D recently. It’s like a painting coming to life. Beautiful colors and graphics that seem unbelievable. And the story itself is a truly unbelievable tale of a shipwrecked passenger stuck on a lifeboat with a Tiger. I’ve read the book and both are spectacular. And the movie really captures it. If you haven’t read it or seen it – Spoiler Alert. 

At the end, he survives this incredible adventure. And no one really believes him. So he tells them a simpler story instead. But, he says, if the outcome is the same in both stories, which story do you prefer? 

It got me thinking about heaven. I completely believe in an afterlife. But I’ve never pictured the typical scene where people are reunited with loved ones. I’ve never really believed that I will see my mom again. Kind of depressing. Maybe I’ll die and sense her spirit or a feeling of love in the afterlife, but I never pictured her greeting me, hugging me or loving me again.

But after I saw “Life of Pi” I thought, why not? If it gives me comfort to think that I’ll be greeted in heaven by mom, then that’s what I should believe. It’s the better story. And it doesn’t change any of the outcome. Whether the hereafter is like a movie or not, it will be what it will be. I hope she’s in her bathrobe on a couch, with a book in one hand, a cup of hot coffee nearby, smoking a Parliament. 

I don’t know if it’s losing my mom so early, having a child with special needs or having been diagnosed with breast cancer. But I see things a little differently now. The bright moments of life are so much brighter. And the dark colors of life are so much darker.

I see young, fresh parents with so much to gain and so much to lose. I see teenage daughters who can’t stand their moms, but don’t know what a gift they have.  I see parents whose biggest wish is for their child to be able to move their hands.  I see families brought together and torn apart by tragedy. 

But you know–we all keep moving. And try to think of a better story. Because if the ending is the same, the better story is the one I want to believe.

My poem:
Heaven 
Far away 
Close at heart 
Hoping to see her 
Mom