My young, beautiful, outspoken and amazing sister died at such a young age (48) from complications of an immune disorder last July.
I've only felt this a few times in my life:
1) when my mom died
2) before I ended my first marriage
3) and now.
I started to pull away--physically--from everyone including my family. I found a space at home that made me feel safe and I went there. I pulled up the blanket. I tried to disappear. I was pulling away from them.
I didn't realize that by keeping my sad feelings to myself, I was feeding them. It was getting bigger and worse. I finally made a plan.
1) I texted my two BFF girlfriends and told them I was depressed and needed a girls' weekend ASAP (they obliged)
2) I called a close, adult family member and admitted I was sad and overwhelmed
3) I sent a MyChart message to my primary care physician asking for help with medication options (ended up on Effexor 75 Mg as Zoloft reduces the effectiveness of my anti-cancer Tamoxifen medication)
4) I signed up for BetterHelp.com for a few months and did online therapy
5) I talked to a life coach and asked for help
6) I created some music play lists that made me feel good
7) I also stopped cooking meals - but continued to buy groceries. No one starved. You can take a break too.
I've experienced "complex grief" according to my counselor.
After a few months, I am in a better place. I felt motivated to write this in case it helps even one person.
Please don't hold in your feelings. Please tell one person. Any person. If it's anything like my situation, I felt even a little better as soon as I shared my feelings and asked for help.
May is mental health awareness month. My sister was such an advocate for mental health. I dedicate this post to her.
Healing, teaching, caring
Hero and mental health warrior forever